#3 Sushi
These days, many good-hearted Christian people are making attempts to understand homosexuality rather than to flatly condemn it with no discussion and little regard for the person in it. But even those who have the best of intentions are faced with what is termed the “ick factor.” This stems from being disgusted at the mere thought of people of the same gender having sex together. This isn’t a totally inappropriate response for Christians. When you believe that God created man and woman to experience sex in a marriage relationship, anything outside that becomes a deviation from what you understand as God’s natural order. So, to be repulsed by (any) sin is an understandable response. But it becomes a source of sin in your life when it leads to homophobia and hatred. Most reactions along this vein are the result of fear and misunderstanding.
I’ll let you in on something… You can’t be recruited into homosexuality! Neither can your children. It is key to demystify illegitimate fears like these. If it hasn’t rubbed off on me yet, I think the rest of you are safe! And honey… being 36 and single, don’t think I haven’t wondered! Because of so many people I love who deal with this, sometimes I think my life would be easier if I could just change my beliefs, but God hasn’t led me there, and I submit to Him.
So, if you have a heart for God, but you are struggling with the ick factor, it might be helpful for you to disconnect sex from homosexuality. I’m not suggesting that you get soft on sin, just that you shift your focus from the sin to the person God created. Actually, this isn’t an illogical thing to do because homosexuality has less to do with sex than you might think. Your mind goes there first because sex is in the middle of that word… But how does God look at us? Does He see us with our biggest sin plastered on our foreheads? Does He look at us through the eyes of men or through the eyes of the heart? For gay people, sex is only one manifestation of their relationship. Like heterosexuals, sex is only a part of who we are. Gay people mow their lawns, watch the news, pay bills, fight depression, pray, listen to music… and they have sex. For people with unwanted SSA who submit their whole lives to God’s reign, sexual impulses are only a part of their struggle in this life. Just like me!
I’ve had brief encounters with homeless people when I lived in Portugal as well as with a few poor inner-city residents of west TX. And I’ve run across some pretty unsavory folks. I’m talking about people who haven’t bathed in days with stinky swamp-butt and not-so-simple chronic halitosis! But their humanity spoke louder than their funk. I had to get over a barrier in order to truly intersect with their lives. Think of all the people who would not have benefited from God’s love through Mother Teresa had she been limited by repugnance.
I just can’t picture Jesus being homophobic. When I see him in my mind’s eye reaching out to lepers, prostitutes and the outcasts of his day, I don’t think he would blink an eye at AIDS.
So if you are held back by the ick factor, do whatever you have to do to get past it. Substitute sex with sushi and call it homosushiality. Think of sushi. Whatever. Just get over the sex thing and see the PERSON. You can overcome things that gross you out for a greater good. Not only will you be a little more like Jesus Christ, but I think you’ll also be surprised at the blessings you’ve been missing out on…
Angie
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Reader Comments (42)
Thanks for raising these interesting questions, and at a measured pace.
I'm getting way ahead of your discussion, but I have a bit of a time crunch. I would like to hear perspectives on political questions. I live in Tennessee, and a gay marriage ban is on next month's ballot. (I suspect that some political leaders put this issue on the ballot because the "ick factor" draws conservative voters to the polls, but that's not the direction of my question.)
I will probably vote against the gay marriage ban. I'm a minister in a church where that view will be in the minority, so I have to be wise in how and when I argue the case. My sense is that if the impact of the legislation is to deny gay couples health insurance benefits and child custody rights, it flies in the face of command #2 -- "love your neighbor as yourself."
I haven't had time to study what's at stake, so maybe someone can give me highlights of the key issues. From a Christian perspective, why should I vote against this item?
I will actually splice your comment with my post & we can work through it together in our blog community. I sure appreciate your desire to think it through... You're good people!
well, I will be the first to say it. you need to submit this to Stuart or someone. You have the makings of a great book here. One that churches need and maybe that is a way God is going to use your heart's desire. I am very serious.
As for the ick factor...for me to get past that meant knowing some people who were homosushial.
There are many hetrosexuals who would give me an "ick" factor if I think of them having sex....so I just don't do it! (think of them that is...) I think I will be shutting up now.
I'm with Donna that Sushi doesn't help on the ick factor. Neither would guacamole! (Homoguacamolial?). Maybe tomatoes? I thought they were disgusting until I accidentally ate one on a hamburger, and I was pleasantly surprised! (Homotomatual?)
And Donna's also right on the heterosexual ick factor -- there are some scenes I'd rather not ponder.
As far as the ick factor goes, obviously homosexuality isn't "icky" at all to me, but there are several sins that are. Thanks for reminding me that I need to define people as people, not their sins.
Again, I'm excited and looking forward to more!
Marsha Stevens wrote a song called when she was 16 years old called “For Those Tears I Died” or sometimes its called “Come to the Water”, its in a lot of hymnals. Anyway, now she is a contemporary Christian singer and runs a ministry called BALM Ministries (http://www.balmministries.com/index.htm) with an emphasis on the gay Christian community. In the late 80s and early 90s, when people in the US were still dying of AIDS at an alarming rate, Marsha started seeing something that infuriated her. There were men who had been active parts of churches for years who were closeted and no one ever knew they were gay until they came down with AIDS then they were kicked out of their church family and they died alone and then wouldn’t even allow the funeral to be at the church.
She wrote a song using the thought process that said if Jesus used one of the most humiliating and worst ways to die possible of that time when he was crucified, then would it be possible that if he came today instead would he use one of the worst ways to die of current time, which in the late 80s and early 90s was AIDS. It was a pretty powerful thought. One of the lines from the song goes something like “If he came today, would he rise from the quilt” (meaning the AIDS quilt).
The name of the song was "The Body of Christ Has Aids", alluding to what was happening to these people (part of the body of Christ) that were being kicked out of their churches when they contracted AIDS. Another line in the song, which she delivers in almost an agonizing, angry yell, goes: “my name is Jesus…. and my body has AIDS”. It has always made me cry when I have heard it.
Anyway, that was my thought as I read the last part of your post. Hope it didn't offend anyone.
JAY, it's so great to have you here! I started to invite you at your blog... but I have sorta neglected you lately & didn't want you to think I was just trying to get more hits over here! So, thanks for showing up. Can I get you something to drink? ;-) I'm about to need something stronger than coffee!
BRIAN - Yeah, my sushi analogy hasn't really gone over all that well! I really appreciate you sharing the Marsha story - very moving, not offensive to me. But it sounds like I touched a nerve in you... I'm sorry! That's the source of my headache - knowing that I will eventually say something that people will disagree with or that will be misunderstood. The question was never "if" but "when!" It's really a tough place for me to be in - to represent the whole picture. How do I represent all possible scenarios w/o stepping on any toes? I don't know! It's hard to even compartmentalize these posts, b/c everything overlaps... but at the same time we can't just let the conversation run amok with tangents... So, I'm trying! Glad you're taking the time to chill... Because we need to hear you.
TERRI, that breaks my heart. Knowing God hates sin doesn't convince me that stories like your friend's don't break the heart of God as well...
** just wanted to inject a little humor and lightness into such a heavy and divisive subject, forgive me! :-) thank you angie for taking on this - for to take on this discussion you not only deal with the issue itself but all the emotional baggage that SURROUNDS and INFUSES this issue**
J
The ick factor as you call it is huge. The feeling I get is a lot of times Christians use the Bible's strong statements about homosexual lifestyles as permission to give into the feelings of disgust they have. It's like there is a feeling of being sanctioned to cut people out of their lives or treat them as pariahs because well, they're gay and the Bible says that's a perversion. Using today's connotations of that word rather than the original meaning.
I remember talking about this with teenagers in a Sunday School class I taught. I asked the question did they think a homosexual would feel welcome in our congregation and their response was a resounding "No way!" It chilled me because I wasn't at all confident I could deny it eventhough I consider my congregation to be one of the most loving and welcoming places I know.
I'm not disgusted by same sex intercourse. (Same sex sex sounded redundant) I guess when speaking and dealing with my gay friends, it just doesn't enter my mind. I don't find it to have any type of "ick" factor. For me it's just the difference in someone liking vanilla ice cream and someone who prefers chocolate ice cream. So when I'm gazing into my husband's eyes at an intimate time, I don't think "gay sex". Even if I did, I can't say I'd be repulsed. When I see my gay friends with their partners, I don't picture them having sex. In fact, there are few people in this world that I met along my way that I "think" about them having sex. And the only one that comes to my mind that causes any serious "ick" factor is thinking about my parents doing the deed!! I don't think anyone ever really wants to think about that!lol
In John's comment above, he wanted to talk more about TN voting on the gay marriage issue. First of all, I'm not a TN resident so I don't get a vote but if I could vote, I'm really on the fence about this issue. I don't want to derail the train by going into the reasons that I am not for it. I'm still trying to put together a lucid statement that sums up what I want to say. I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings by saying something out of the way. Because, as I stated in another comment, I am notorious for just saying what I'm thinking without really thinking it out. Does that make sense?
I also know I'm going to miss out on some postings after today so it might take me a while to catch up.
This is good reading though and great comments. Angie, you've got some wonderful wonderful people here.
Brian, I know you don't know me and I'm a little embarressed to say that I haven't read your blog and didn't do my homework in regards to you. But, having you here is very nice. I certainly value your opinions and your voice and really appreciate you taking time to explain some things to me personally. I read your response to my first post. I've actually read it 3 times. Again, I'm trying to find the right words to say what I want to say without being offensive. But I am glad you are here and look forward to more from you.
Jules
I can get past the ick factor when whatever causes the "ick" doesn't directly affect me. But when is up close and personal, it's another story.... Case in point: my FIL is a pedophile. *BIG* ick factor, not to mention other strong emotions. I have not progressed to the point of being Jesus to this man. Couple that with the fact that my husband's struggle with SSA is probably rooted in his childhood with this man... It's a hard situation.
Just want to say thanks for having the guts to do this. I know how this has been on your heart for a while now.
I am praying right now about responding to some things you've mentioned already.
Specifically to "NO Name Yet":
I can't imagine where you are in all of this or how you're feeling. I do appreciate the fact that you are with us in this discussion. I'm sure you have good days and bad days. Just wanted to tell you that I will be praying for you and your husband. You have a mighty heavy load to carry and I sincerely hope and pray that you will find some "load bearers" here.
May the comfort and peace of God surround and overwhelm you.
Felicia Patten
Just the thought of a person like this makes me furious, but in order to "be Jesus" (or Mike for that matter) to this type of person is to see them for what they are - people in desperate need of help on a pathological level. I don't think we can put them in the same category of our discussion.
And, for the record, there are vastly more "heterosexual" pedophiles on the planet than homosexual ones. Which should either make us breathe a sigh of relief, or just really get scared! Because they really are everywhere.
We just have to see people as people. Regardless of what preference they may have behind closed doors. If we really are intent on helping someone, then we have to really regard them as "someone". We have to get down to the human level. I think this is the biggest example that Jesus left to us - he really did that! He really became HUMAN to reach us. Talk about the ultimate "ick" factor!
"Instead, he gave up his divine privileges; he took the humble position of a slave adn was born a human being. When he appeared in human form, he humbled himself in obedience to God and died a criminal's death on a cross."
Very icky. Thank God.
http://a_musing.blogspot.com/2005/10/how-sexual-abuse-made-me-ex-gay.html