Angie's Aim

This post is dedicated to a special part of the body of Christ. They experience SSA, yet based on their faith they have taken the road less traveled in choosing not to act on these impulses. I dedicate this to them because they have been largely ignored or misunderstood in our Christian family. Most have quietly kept their SSA in the margins without drawing attention to their deep struggles. If there’s any discussion in which I might be guilty of having a heightened sensitivity, it would be this one because I have been changed by knowing a few of these brothers and sisters. They have inspired, mentored and challenged me. I cannot imagine what my relationship with God would look like without our interactions.

What is ex-gay? This is sort of a catchphrase that attempts to encompass all people who experience SSA but believe it is a sin that one shouldn’t act on, so with God's help they pursue an alternate path. For some, that alternate path is surrendering their sexuality to God and choosing to live a celibate life. Others believe that their homosexual orientation can actually be changed, so they submit to reparative therapy, striving to develop heterosexual feelings.

Note: This is the heart of the big controversy. The reason people are overly-consumed with the origins of homosexuality (nitty gritty) is because that directly affects whether or not they believe it can be changed. If it can’t, then the gay community should have all the rights and privileges of heterosexual couples. If it can, then this seemingly gives people moral grounds to fight against the gay community’s requests to be recognized. Unfortunately for all who want solid answers, whether sexuality is fixed or fluid is another debatable subject.

So, what’s the ex-gay movement and why should I care? This movement is predominantly associated with Exodus International - the main organization for Christian ministries everywhere that proclaim freedom from homosexuality through Jesus Christ. I mention them because they are so influential in educating Christians at large about homosexuality. So, for a healthy dose of skepticism, I’d like to point out some misconceptions perpetuated by the ex-gay movement, whether intentional or not.

But first the good stuff! I am extremely thankful for Exodus for providing a place for Christians struggling with SSA when there previously was none. My friends (pursuing Christianity via the ex-gay path) who have attended an Exodus Conference count it as a turning point in their lives. For them, it was an incredible experience to worship God among Christians who deal with the same things they do. The shame and secrecy are shattered, replaced with hope and honesty. And the ministries associated with Exodus have made significant enhancements to the lives of participants (through counseling and camaraderie) – regardless of whether they continue the ex-gay path.

But the concerns I have with the ex-gay movement rest in three areas:

- Of course each ministry is to be evaluated on an individual basis, but the (Christian) general public has bought into the heavy emphasis placed on changing sexual orientation, as if being straight is the indicator of someone’s success. People who have gone on to marry the opposite sex are put forth as the ideal.

- Also, the Exodus organization has taken a much more political tone in recent years, which I believe has hurt their witness for Jesus Christ, leaving Him in the rubble of political wars. (We’ll look more at the political side in the next post)

- Because Exodus is the most prevalent voice in getting information to Christians on this subject, it concerns me that they seem so overly-certain about matters – conveying that this is THE way and there is no middle ground. Just recently the President of Exodus, Alan Chambers, was interviewed by Terry Gross of NPR’s Fresh Air. I lost count of the number of times he used the word “absolutely.” It’s a subtle message, but slightly disturbing to me since we are all so prone to wanting everything to be black and white.

YET, God continues to use these ministry efforts in brilliant ways (just as He works through the humanity of other Christian ministries, organizations, universities, and especially churches… in spite of us!).

As a Christian, it’s my opinion that ex-gay is a deceptive term because it suggests that homosexuality disappears (it was a part of my life, but it’s not anymore)… Because I do not underestimate the power of my God, I know this can be true. Some people can experience complete freedom from SSA as well as develop attractions to the opposite sex! And I do not doubt the testimonies of those who have experienced this (every story is valid, but not necessarily representative of the whole). But that specific scenario is not the most common picture of a journey out of homosexuality. Leaving behind sin and saying no to temptation just isn’t as neat and tidy as some ex-gay ministries seem to convey. As with most issues, God refines us through the process of letting go of our will and embracing His, which can be quite a battle some days.

The term that works for me is overcomers (I'd like credit if it becomes the new "it" word!) because that’s what we all are. Overcomers aren’t just “playing it straight.” Overcomers are seeking to be transformed more into the image of Jesus Christ by submitting to Him in ALL areas of life, sexuality included. And that transformation looks very different for each person. It may amount to no longer being mastered by SSA - as temptations may decrease in strength or frequency. It may mean reaching a point of being attracted to the opposite sex with the possibility of marriage and children. It may mean a commitment to live a chaste life in order to bring God honor. And it’s up to Christian communities to give each overcomer the freedom to be themselves rather than to heap unrealistic or ungodly expectations upon them. I believe we limit God when we expect Him to “do it this way.” We all need safe places to work through all the crud we have to deal with in these fleshly bodies.

The “good news” we have to offer is NOT that if you’re gay you can be straight! The gospel is not that superficial. The ultimate goal is not heterosexuality. My, how we’ve made our healing into idols. The ugly truth is that we may never escape some struggles. Just ask Paul about his thorn in the flesh. That’s really disappointing if perfection in this life is what we’re after. But the goal is Jesus, who is the one mediator between God and man. And the good news is that He has made it possible for us, in all our brokenness and sin, to be a part of the Kingdom of God… the Kingdom that escapes the corruption of this world and participates in the divine nature… the Kingdom that is not only an eternity with God, but also a full, abundant life here and now with Him through the Spirit.

If the lure of Christianity to gay people equates merely being relegated to spend their lives repressing their sexuality and trying to be something that they’re not… well, that’s no life at all. What Christ offers is better than sex… an identity fully based in Him.