I tell ya, I wish I could be Oprah for a day and just give away all my favorite things to all of you - some of my favorite people (and definitely some of God's best!).  But in case that never happens, I hope you'll settle for my words on a computer screen... (posted a bit more regularly!!!).  And believe it when I say...

You are loved. 

No, really.

It’s that time of year again… And it’s my pleasure to host our virtual Christmas party! It’s a conversational come-and-go that will last from now ‘til Christmas day. And as a token of my appreciation for your friendship, encouragement and the time you’ve taken to read this blog (or continue checking for a new post!)… one of you will shop online with your...

$50 gift certificate to Christian Book Distributors!!! 

Exciting, isn't it!!! 

The Fine Print: The comment you make to this post serves as your chance to win! And this time, multiple comments mean multiple chances to win! The party will end at noon on Christmas day and the drawing will take place that afternoon. Winner announced by 5pm .

To start the small talk, I’ll shorthand the last few months just to catch up a bit. Feel free to comment on anything and everything - or in true Seinfeld fashion, nothing!

Boo to You! I hosted a Halloween get-together at my place. We listened to spooky stories about rabid raccoons, hitchhikers and what happens at the morgue and we read The Cremation of Sam McGee!

Downsizing. Finally traded in my gas guzzler! Didn’t go hybrid, but definitely went for better fuel efficiency – opted for a crossover vehicle.

I love me a road trip! Broke in the new ride on an excursion to Atlanta to visit friends Ryan & Amanda Gray (and brand new baby Jaxon) at the Newnan Church of Christ. Also re-connected with Duane Bates, another friend from Lubbock days who now works for Habitat for Humanity. Since he’s in PR, his name out-googles all of ours! (So I thought I may as well drop it here!) Then I met up with more friends to hear Rob Bell speak downtown. Again with the name dropping!

Turkey Day. Prepared Thanksgiving for Three. Had the parentals over for a fun feast!

Confession: I’ve watched every single hokey holiday movie on the Hallmark channel and fa-la-la-la-Lifetime while decorating, shopping online, wrapping gifts and cooking. You’d think I’d tire of the predictable plots, but no.

Incredible Edibles. This will be the first year I attempt to make a gingerbread house. Without eating it.

Latest greatest food finds: 

Voortman’s Flaxseed Cookies – delish!  Ever-so-yummy Yogi Teas. They’re incredibly aromatic and flavorful. And glogg - A Scandinavian warm mulled wine for wintry days. Find recipes online or pick up a starter bottle the next time you're in IKEA.

Most significant moment: My dad & I do this thing – trying to one-up each other on who can get in the last word on “I love you.” And the last word is “more!” After a visit one evening he told me he loved me as he was leaving and of course I responded with “I love you more.” He chuckled because he’d been gotten! Then he says, “But really, hon… I love you more than anything.” After just a few seconds he adds, “Well, except for…” and he points to the sky. My heart was full.

Favorite Mama moment: I can’t decide between when she was talking about how nice it would be to have “TeeBo” to record her television shows or when she called to ask if I wanted any “rotisserary” chicken.

Currently Reading:

Grave Matters: A Journey Through The Modern funeral Industry to a Natural Way of Burial by Mark Harris

Ex Gays? A Longitudinal Study of Religiously Mediated Change in Sexual Orientation by Jones & Yarhouse

Magazines on my coffee table:

Dwell, The Oxford American, Relevant, Weight Watchers and Rolling Stone – which I didn’t subscribe to. It just mysteriously started arriving. And I’m okay with that.

Recently added on i-Tunes:

Say by John Mayer

In The Colors by Ben Harper & The Innocent Criminals

If I were wearing a t-shirt, it might say:

Heavily medicated for your safety

Sorry about global warming. It’s my fault -- I’ll take care of it.

Sometimes I wonder… “Why is that Frisbee getting bigger?” …and then it hits me.

I DEMAND JUSTICE. But if there be injustice, let it be in my favor.

Everything I say is fully substantiated by my own opinion.

My day isn’t done until I’ve horrified a complete stranger.

Some days, it’s not even worth chewing through the restraints.

My Christmas wish for you:

May your holiday season be filled with the wistful glow of Christmas lights, pockets full of spare change for the Salvation Army bell ringers, music that moves you, some really great conversations dotted with laughs (and even a few tears), intentional time with your God, spinach dip and cocktail weiners and sausage balls and peanut brittle and fudge and peanut butter balls and... Oh, sorry... I sorta lose my train of thought when I get started on food!  And may you get caught underneath the mistletoe!  Wait... that's my wish!

Now it's your turn.  Leave a comment.  Go ahead.  Make my Christmas Day!

1. I wave at cows.

Being the communicative person I am, it’s no stretch for me to carry on conversations with grocery store clerks or chat it up with total strangers. But it seems to be getting a tad out of hand… I first noticed this at a retreat I attended in which we took a vow of silence for a chunk of time – which did not seem to slow me down one bit. I employed every non-verbal cue known to man, carrying on entire conversations with body language and facial expressions. I possibly missed my calling as a mime. Also, during the New York trip, making eye contact with folks in Chinatown almost bought me hundreds of fake Prada and Gucci bags! But most recently, while driving down the country road that leads to my home, I found myself waving at a cow that happened to look at me as I passed by. I kid you not. And, no, the cow did not wave back.

2. I enjoy folding towels, cutting cakes and slicing breads.

Okay, so it wouldn’t make for an appealing ad in the personals… but I like this more than pina coladas and gettin’ caught in the rain! It’s probably borderline OCD, but until this, too, gets out of hand, I prefer to think of it as something that makes me cute and quirky! I’m not picky about everything being neat and tidy (just drop by my house unannounced and you’ll find this to be way understated!), but I do like to see towels all folded the same way and desserts sliced uniformly.  Is that so wrong? 

3. I wrote my eulogy several years ago & have been trying to live up to it ever since.

I wouldn’t say I’m obsessed with death, but I do (oddly) find it a pleasure to consider.  (Just to clarify - death, not necessarily the process of dying)  It will be my soul’s re-birth; the beginning of the never ending... And because I take this slant, I think graveyards are lovely places. And I'm intrigued by the idea of old-timey home funerals, where the family and friends actually prepare the body for burial. I am very vocal about not wanting to go the “fancy casket” route. Skip the cement vault and all those pricey “extras.” The pine box works fine for me.

4. I have mooned someone in broad daylight.

It only takes one good lesson to find out that following the crowd is dumb. I learned mine in the summer of ’87. I was our school’s first mascot and got to join the cheerleaders for summer camp at Ole Miss. There were mascots from everywhere! Most of them were cheerleaders who didn’t make the cut, so they got stuck with being mascot. But I wanted to be a part of the cheerleader ‘in crowd’, so I followed their lead… which meant swooning over our mascot coach.  He had made it to the big time in mascot terms… He had been a Disney character! We were  wowed. He was a hottie for sure, and really great at pulling pranks on us girls. So in a wild-eyed moment, one cheerleader-reject pipes up that we all ought to moon him when he comes into the room… No time to think… here he comes… So, we line up, bottoms pointing toward the door… The door cracks open and so do I... Guess who was the only one to drop her drawers? Yeah. Mortifying! I tried to redeem the whole experience by winning the Master Key To Spirit award at the end of the week, but that couldn't eclipse the full moon.

5. I have been fingerprinted and photographed.

Long story short, my arrest stemmed from a ticket for an expired registration sticker – which I immediately updated, but sorta neglected to take care of the ticket. It was a non-issue until a few years later when I was pulled over for speeding… rushing to work since it was my turn to get the donuts that Friday. Unbelievably (after stating my poor defense) I was hauled off in the back of the police car, leaving the donuts on the front seat of my car sitting on the shoulder of 34^th street. I mention the donuts because that was what my co-workers seemed to be most concerned about when I called them from jail. Yes, jail – where I was approached by a scruffy individual with eyes barely open who wanted to know what I was in for… After smiling for the camera and being teased by the policemen that the fingerprinting ink would wear off in about a week, I was dismissed. Too stunned to even cry! And I have never failed to keep my vehicle registration up to date since.

6. I dig NPR.

I'm pretty sure I don't fit the typical listener profile... Sorry, NPR, but you are stuck with me!!! My favorite podcasts are NPR’s news quiz show Wait, Wait… Don’t Tell Me and Ira Glass’ compilation of stories called This American Life. And I dig other shows like Speaking of Faith, Fresh Air, All Things Considered, etc. 

7. I like thin lips.

I'm referring to coffee cups, not people! I love me some coffee, and I’m as picky about the cup as I am the bean blend. If the cup’s too large, the coffee gets cold too fast. And it's a must to put any creamer or splenda in the cup first. So when I pour the coffee, no stirring is necessary.  And a thin lip makes for the perfect sip, without leaving a dribble down the side of the cup.  Dribbling down my chin, however, is a different story. 

8. Going to public restrooms is very ‘routine’ for me.

Emphasis on routine! I’m one of “those” people who take forever in the bathroom. The system demands it - an entire routine in which nothing is touched unless it has been sanitized by the gel I carry in my purse. I’ll spare all the details here, except to say I’m definitely a foot flusher.

I stayed up (too) late last night writing this! And Kristi is to blame! But maybe it'll do until I'm able to post something of substance! Thankfully, there are plenty of great blogs out there, old and new, to fill in my gaps. And I’m randomly reading yours… just in lurk mode lately!  Thanks to all of you who keep checking in on my blog - now that's faith! 

Today I’m Nashville-bound. Time again for this year’s ZOE Conference – a great time to take a closer look at how I’m living out God’s calling in my life. And no better place to do it than in the presence of those who are deeply devoted to examining how the overflow of that calling translates in everyday life, in the ways we worship our God and in what we do on Sunday mornings. This year’s guest speaker is Brian McLaren.   

BTW, I’ll have a chance to check blogs and e-mail in N’ville… so let me know if anyone who stumbles across this is planning to attend. It would be great to see you there – and maybe get a thin-lipped cuppa coffee on me! :-)

As of now my band has not been tightened, so I do not feel any restriction when I eat… That may seem odd (because that’s what it’s there for, right?!) but my doctor is of the mindset that I should lose as much weight as I can by following their food restrictions and exercising before we begin to adjust the band. This trains me to do the work rather than relying on the band. It should be a *help* to me, not some magical implant that allows me to eat whatever I want and still lose weight. In case any of you are still searching for that program, let me save you some time – it doesn’t exist!

And as with most things, there are loopholes in this system. If people really have a heart to cheat, to indulge… they can employ their most clever efforts to make that happen. So much depends on the deepest dedication of the heart. And for the most part, I’m there… but I’ve had several weak moments that have led to slip ups. Nothing detrimental… I’m talking about eating too fast, eating more than I should, testing the waters in advancing on to a food that’s not allowed yet. And even though I can “get by” with those things, it’s a slippery slope & I fear what it might lead to. It’s such a challenge to be faithful in the small things.

Realistically, I have barely gotten out of the starting gate in this marathon, so it’s not quite time to be planning trips or anything… But I have an opportunity that I just can’t pass up! My friend Greg has been planning a trip to New York to see the first few days of play at the US Open with another friend of his - who bailed on him at the last minute. Fortunately I’m willing to step in! Anything for a friend! :-) It will still be a challenge for me, but it’s one I’m up for (one which wouldn’t have been a consideration pre-surgery). So, I’m thankful for Greg’s lame friend… because now I have the chance to see some awesome LIVE tennis and see New York City! Another highlight will be the chance to meet fellow (ex) blogger Little Light while I’m in Manhattan! How great is that!

BTW, we’ll have several days to explore the Big Apple before the tennis action begins. I’d love to hear any suggestions for how to spend some of that time from those of you who’ve already taken a bite out of the Apple. All input is welcome, so please share!

And even though I’ve been barely here recently, my blog agenda has been growing as well… I have several ideas stewing for some possible posts that might allow me to play amateur journalist; also The Chronicles of Martha are yet to be revealed; and finally, I’ll have an update on my “weighty matter” coming on August 15^th (just for you, Susan!).

I’m posting this a bit later than I had intended, but maybe the results will be worth the delay… So, on to the good stuff!  First of all, we have 2 winners for Mini Diet Makeovers!!! Since we had such a great response, there's a winner for the guys and a winner for the gals!

• Amanda from Arkansas !
• Eddie from Louisiana !

I know what you’re thinking… I can't believe Mike didn't win either!

Amanda and Eddie, look forward to receiving prize claim details via e-mail! Congrats to you both, my friends!

Extra! Extra!

Mandy has really gone the extra mile for the rest of us… She contacted Meri, the owner of Real Living Nutrition, about our contest, and Meri has decided to offer a special promotion just for the readers of Angie’s Aim! Yay for us! Meri is offering 10% off the Balance program to anyone interested. Read a message to us from Meri with all the scrumptious details here!

This offer is good through August 8^th, though you are free to begin the program at any time that’s convenient for you and take it at your own pace! For instance, I’ll be signing up now to take advantage of the discount, but I won’t begin until I am able to be on “real food” again because of my surgery.  Let the program work around your schedule!

And if $ is always the bottom line for you, I just want to reiterate what a great deal this is… Because this service is offered online, they are able to cut out a lot of the overhead costs. I have a friend in Austin who sees a dietician once a month at $100 bucks a pop. The Balance program, which is 9 e-coaching sessions with Mandy (plus a lot more!) would cost a minimum of $900 at that rate… But Real Living offers it for a one time fee of $185 (minus our special discount!). So if you’ve been wanting to be more intentional about your health, this may just be the one-on-one help you’ve been looking for.

I know I totally sound like an infomercial… but I assure you I am *not* a compensated endorser! :-) I just love to share a good thing when I find it!

To top everything off…

What was I thinking by having a giveaway without including a little something from our Stuart? Fortunately our favorite superhero, "Bookstore Man" chimed in anyway and volunteered to give away some recent Waterbrook Press titles to 5 lucky people! Here are the drawing results for the fab five:

• Kary from Texas
• Mary from Oklahoma/California!
• Timbra from Utah
• Sherrie from Alabama
• Jenny from Colorado 

As always, thanks to Stu for his generosity and for helping make this giveaway "devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit."  1 Corinthians 7:34  That's my aim!

So, to introduce all of you to this approach, I'm giving away a Free Mini Diet Makeover - one of the services Real Living Nutrition offers to men and women!  It's a customized assessment of your current diet (a $45 value), the equivalent of a one-on-one consultation with Mandy (and she knows her stuff!).  You'll get all kinds of groovy information, complete with recommended changes and a step-by-step plan on how to incorporate them.  You'll also receive a free Healthy Living e-cookbook and restaurant guide!  And, the hits just keep on comin'... Should you decide to continue with the more in-depth 8-week Balance program, you'll automatically receive a $45 discount for completing this first step!  How cool is that! 

Regardless of where you are in your pursuit of healthy living, the knowledge a dietician offers is a super supplement... whether you've just started a weight loss program, had weight loss surgery or are just plain SICK of dieting!  

Ultimately, making our bodies hospitable to the Holy Spirit is what adds the most beauty to our unseemly problem areas... but I believe God is pleased when we give attention toward making the most of life in this body... the frame He knew even before it was woven and spun in a womb.  May we all use what we got to glorify Him! 

The Fine Print:  All you have to do is leave a comment to this post and your name will be registered for the drawing, which will take place in one week on Wednesday, July 25, 2007.  You can knock yourself out with multiple comments, but your name will only be registered once. 

I am amazed that you included information about your friend! Thank you for the tip. Did you know that Craig and I are involved with that very business here in Mumbai (a reason for us to be here as well as a tool for His glory)? Please check out our website, which is amercasmedicalsolutions.com! Craig and I, along with two other Christian Americans are bringing Americans over to have surgeries done here in Mumbai because the hospitals are awesome and a fraction of the cost! That's what we do! One of our hospitals is where your friend will be! So, YES we will be happy to visit him!!! Could we also have his wife’s email, so we could encourage her as well? I will forward the info on to our partners and they will be ecstatic to encourage him! God amazes me… As I showed Craig the info, he kept saying "Praise God!" :)

So, apparently I’m behind on this current outsourcing trend. After all, India doesn’t immediately come to mind when I think of a healthcare mecca. But if you check out Teresa's site and look at the price comparisons, it’s easy to see why many are opting for this route. Plus Indian doctors (most who are trained in America ) are leaps and bounds ahead in the hip resurfacing technique (an incredible alternative to the hip replacement procedure), which remains in clinical trials in the U.S. Hip resurfacing has been performed in Europe for over 10 years now. This “medical tourism” option is great news for the uninsured who feel trapped in pain and limited by their options due to finances. Snaps to Craig and Teresa for seeing this need and helping bridge the gap for all those in need of medical help!

I know I'll be contacting them if I ever decide to get that boobjob.

I’ll spare you the unpleasantries of surgery and healing that just aren’t blog-worthy... though there is an interesting enema incident that I may have to insert (forgive the pun) in the Chronicles of Martha! But I will say that they call the first few days post-op ‘hell week’ for a reason! And I reiterate that this was a last resort option for me that I am not comfortable recommending to others, only sharing my experience. It’s far too soon to know where this will lead me.

But I am very comfortable suggesting to all of my brothers and sisters who struggle with their weight to plead with God to open a new path for you. He gives hope in the areas we feel most hopeless. There’s no guarantee that our desired outcomes will come easily, quickly or at all… but He will sustain you and provide for you all the while, and that will be more than enough. He will never, ever leave you or forsake you…

Though I’m ending this blog series, my journey is really just beginning. This will be a difficult year for me. Learning how much food is sufficient for me isn’t easy, considering how much I’m used to consuming. I’ll be facing all the underlying issues that I’ve been avoiding in the past. I’ll be grieving the loss of my comfort and coping mechanism (though trading it in for the comfort of the Holy Spirit will be no comparison!). And all these things are relevant, whether or not you have a lap-band. It’s only a route to these things, in a similar way as fasting.

Fasting itself doesn’t solve anything or make things better… It’s merely abstaining from food for a time. It just creates a space for things to be brought to the surface, where you can be clear-minded enough to gain perspective… but without surrendering those things to God, the best benefit will be de-tox and human wisdom. That's why fasting is always accompanied by prayer. So, lap band isn't the answer... it's only one route of many God can use when accompanied by a willing heart.

Whatever route you choose to help get to that place of surrender, drench it in prayer and know that you aren’t alone in this. It’s about much more than losing weight and goes even deeper than pursuing good health… it’s about letting go of the thing you hold on to the tightest. And that’s a process rather than a one-time occurrence. And get this… successfully losing weight doesn’t necessarily mean you’ve allowed God to accomplish the deeper things in you that your heart needs.  How's that for re-defining success!

I’m sure I’ll share things in the future that God is showing me through this painstaking process. And even though I believe I will always deal with my desires and urges to some extent… I look forward to the day when food has a less prominent place in my daily life. And I’m ready to fight for that.

Lyrics to My Declaration by Tom Baxter

Gonna be someone, gonna give something

I'm taking it on, I'm taking it on

It's gonna be my life, so I'm gonna live each day and each night

Taking it on, I'm taking it on

'Cause I can't keep hiding, I can't keep hiding, I can't keep running away.

So I'm gonna be stronger, I'm gonna be better made

I'm gonna give everything, Just to bring me back again.

I'm gonna be a braver soul than this

I'm gonna jump at all those many chances that I've missed

I'm gonna live my life beyond these fears and forms of cowardice that keep leading me on.

I'm gonna shine out like a beacon in the night

I'm gonna wrap my fingers round the stars tonight

'Cause I'm taking it on, yes I'm taking it on...

I can't keep hiding, I can't keep hiding, I can't keep running away.

So I'm gonna be stronger, I'm gonna be better made

I'm gonna give everything, Just to bring me back again.

So I'm gonna be stronger, I'm gonna be understood and I'm gonna give everything

Just to bring me back again!

I suppose the best news is – it’s no wonder one size doesn’t fit all when it comes to how to go about losing weight! Some approaches will fit a person better than others. And God is ever-present in each journey, helping us take advantage of countless opportunities to surrender, deny ourselves, trust Him, grow in self-control and flourish by becoming a better version of ourselves.

Drumroll please…

So, after taking another look in the mirror and asking God to help me find a way out of this painful pattern I’ve created, I’ve come to a decision that I previously opposed – tackling obesity by having weight loss surgery (gasp!). Thursday morning I’m having what is called a lap-band procedure.

This was a huge spiritual dilemma for me. Since I know that the core issues of my weight problem are much deeper than the physical, I have viewed options like gastric bypass and lap-band as copouts, ways to bypass the work of God that comes from the old-fashioned way of finding freedom. Unfortunately this is a sad-but-true scenario for some who think weight loss surgery is the easy way out. But what about those of us who aren’t trying to cheat God but haven’t had success with our long line of attempts to shed the pounds? I wondered if this could be a viable option to consider.

Oddly enough what has opened my mind to this has been the previous year of exploring the spiritual disciplines and realizing how very creative God is in the ways he leads us. Paths I have been formerly leery of have become more familiar and even inviting. I realized that my particular thread of reasoning - that a person just shouldn’t need anything but God - leads to some pretty scary places… like those folks who have shamed Christians who suffer from depression for taking medication or even those who reject life-saving medical help altogether. Can God use Prozac? Physicians? I’ve come to the conclusion that submitting to this particular tool of gastric banding is really no different than how I’ve submitted to other methods in the past (see grueling list in last post).

Even after conceding that this could be a legit part of God’s process, my pride was still standing in the way. It’s hard to admit that I can’t do this on my own & that I need help. No, really. I’m as bull-headed a Taurus as they come! Deciding to blog about this whole deal is actually part of sacrificing my stubborn pride to God.

So, what’s this band business?

Since some I’ve shared with had never heard of the lap-band procedure, here’s Angie’s abridged version. A surgeon will laparoscopically place a wee innertube on the upper portion of the stomach, creating a new and smaller pouch. The innertube thingy can be adjusted tighter or looser for each person. Nothing inside me will be cut, stapled or removed (as in gastric bypass) and the procedure is completely reversible, leaving the stomach the same as pre-surgery. By having a baby stomach, I will have to learn to eat all over again and most importantly… learn when to stop eating.

Personally, I still cannot wrap my mind around permanently altering the stomach. It’s just not a risk I’m willing to take. But I have no judgments about those who go that route. In fact, I sing their praises for being braver than me! But the fact is, there are risks associated with any surgical measure, so I’ve found the one that I’m willing to take in order to reverse my current trend of upward immobility.

Dissecting the premise of fasting, a self-imposed restriction intended to heighten awareness that man doesn’t live on bread alone, I believe this surgical restriction can actually create a path for the Spirit to stir me in a new way. The band on my stomach will address my current state of obesity, but the most difficult work is kept for my God – helping me continually deal with all the desires that got me to this point in the first place.

I consider this to be in the last resort category. And I’m there. It’s like I’ve had an intervention for myself, and now I’m checking into fat rehab! The only difference with the other unhealthy ways people choose to soothe their pain (like drugs or alcohol) is that no one can totally abstain from food since it’s necessary for survival. Although I’ve rarely made an attempt to lose weight without asking God to guide it, most of my attempts have amounted to white-knuckling, which never lasts long.

I invite you to ask questions or share any concerns or skepticism you might have about this surgery... It’s taken me 37 years to get to this decision, so I expect criticism from people and even welcome it... It will either help cement that this is a good move for me or perhaps bring to mind something I haven't considered...

My Before

At my present weight:

I am denied health insurance.

I am on the cusp of major obesity-related health problems.

I opt out of many opportunities to interact with people socially, like going out to eat or going to concerts or events - worrying about whether I will fit comfortably in the seats at restaurants, coliseums, etc. One embarrassing incident is all it takes to vow to avoid those scenarios at all cost.

I won’t embrace travel opportunities because of my size - again, for not comfortably fitting in airplane seats or not being able to handle much walking without causing my ankles to swell.

I’ve even allowed a few job opportunities to fall by the wayside, feeling inadequate because of my weight struggles.

I am consumed with dealing with my weight to the extent that I am neglecting the greater call I know God has placed on my life.

This is no way to live.

So, if you ever wondered what kind of person would resort to such a drastic measure to help lose weight…That would be me.

To be certain, this post isn’t a lap-band endorsement. It is NOT for all. But I pray that God can use it for me to be able to reclaim my health and quality of life. I’d sure love it if you’d include me in your prayers too - especially for a surgery free of complications and for my willingness to surrender to a new way of eating and living.